Department of Medieval Vampires

I'm convinced that the dmv is run by masochistic, comedic geniuses. Inside, they're laughing as we wait in the line, contemplating our escapes, thinking that living a life with expired plates, always looking over our shoulders for the fuzz, can't be as bad as the agonizing peril of the dmv line. With all that said, you can imagine my excitement when I learned (last time when I was waiting in line to re-license the scoot) I could register my vehicle online. I couldn't believe that they would give such a gift to us, that they would untie us from the whipping post of the line and set us free to frolic in the information superhighway...sounds too good to be true, huh? it is. at least to me. here's my story:

I went to register my truck (which, by the way does not have a name (she's female). it's a red s10 pickup, she's had some good years, low miles, and needs a new muffler (kind of brash and outspoken) give me some ideas, peeps.) and everything was going so smoothly. enter name...check. enter license #...double check. blah blah blah...check, check, and check. I chose my payment method and hit enter and then waited for the transaction to go through so I could go about my day. I waited (because, you know, it may take a couple of minutes to complete, and hitting the back button could interfere with your transactch.) and waited (5 minutes), and waited (25 minutes). By this time, I knew what had really happened. they got me, it was a classic kansas city shuffle. I had no choice but to call the dmv, and they put me on hold (5 minutes) and transferred me to someone who could help me (another 5 minutes) who actually "accidentally" hung up on me. Repeated that process (8 minutes) and finally talked to the scorpion woman who hung up on me and she so graciously told me "I don't know what to tell you, did you try hitting the back button?" Seriously?!? I don't know why I thought I would be able to slay the dragon that is our dmv. I didn't even make it to the lair. eventually, I ended up succeeding, but only because they were convinced I'd waited long enough.

ok, food:

I loved that curry recipe from last week so much that I made a veggie version on friday. It was super fast and even tastier. I omitted the coconut milk step and added some plain yogurt in its place. The burgers were made out of turkey and bacon extract (for moistiness), and spiced with cumin and coriander. topped with some bacon, purple zebra tomatoes, and cheddar. used buns from LeQ, excellent. Last dish is a salad made with tuna and potatoes, cherry tomatoes, and candied walnuts. Would love to post recipes, but the dmv dragon ate up most of my time. pieces.

DISH recommends: riding a bike and taking the bus. almost worth it to avoid dmv workers. I hear most of them are retired dentists...not surprised.

even my tea is going green

Whew! I just finished doing yoga a couple of minutes ago. I had taken about a month off, due to some annoyingly lingering knee pain. Let me just say that getting back on the yoga horse does not an easy task make. I felt stiff, and heavy, but am glad to start up again. It's a different kind of workout than I'm used to but I really enjoy the sense of accomplishment that you get afterward. When I get done lifting, I feel like doing a king kong roar and snatching a damsel and climbing to the top of the empire state building (realistically, it's more like grabbing a banana and screaming at it, then primitively hunching my way over to the blender to make a shake, imaaaaginaaation...). sorry, sidetracked. hmmm, where was I...oh yeah, yoga...ok, after yoga you feel peaceful, balanced and harmonious, like a james taylor song, minus the turtleneck (and the vanity, right carly simon?). ok enough is enough...

FOOD!: Ratatouille was featured in this month's bon appetit. however, I didn't think that their version looked very appetizing. Actually, it kind of looked drab and gross. I wanted to make a version with some pizzaz where the vegetables had lots of flavor without giving up color and going all wibbly. I was pretty happy with the turnout and will post the recipe at the end of this.

Second photo is some penne marinara. Now, there is much debate over red sauces (or "gravies"). Some people demand sweetness, sugaring up there "reds". I think that adding sugar to the sauce is actually cheapening the end product, and dulling the flavor of the tomatoes. Tomatoes have a lot of natural sugar, you just have to coax it out of them, and sadly, most people think this takes too much time. I won't lie, it's obviously not as easy as opening a jar and throwing the sauce in a pot to reheat, but some things are worth the wait. Topped the pasta with some soft goat cheese and it made for a nice, light supper.

Third dish is broiled flank steak with some mini yukes and a tiny salad. Are you wondering how that deliciously beefy sauce that seductively blankets the flank steak was made? of course you are! unfortunately, it is my one secret, well...sort of secret (a few iron-clad-mouthed folks know), that I am not willing to share yet. I've got books to sell. I have to finish writing it first, of course, but it's a tip above all others, and one of my greatest inventions.

Sale Alert! Supes on 48th has pork butt for sale. 1.18$ a pound. not a bad price. I've seen them go lower, but still a really good deal.

DISH recommends:Tanimura & antle artisan lettuce (at sams club). Ok, this is absolutely ridiculous! For around 3 bucks, you get like 6 heads of cool, uncommon lettuce (two of which are a green and purple frisee). I don't have a sam's club membership, so I made a deal with someone that did. Actually I just gave them the money for it. This is really nice for times like now, when early crop lettuce has died out and you got used to eating it and are craving salads big-time. just an example.

OTHER STUFFS: My pal Green started a blog of his own. Check it out here: Green's bloggage!

Dish's super easy ratatouille:

1 japanese eggplant, sliced about 1/8" thin

1 medium sized zucchini sliced""

1 medium sized yellow squash sliced" "

1 roasted red pepper*

1 onion, diced small

1 garlic clove, minced

3 med size tomatoes, diced.

salt and peps

olive oil

grated parmesan

1/4 white wine or vermouth

In a heavy skillet or dutch oven (med heat), add a healthy drizz of olive oil and saute your onions, garlic, and roasted red pepper for about 5 minutes or until starting to get some color. add some salt and pepper to taste and then add the zucchini, eggplant, and squash. saute for an additional3-4 minutes (or until starting to get color), seasoning again with a little salt and peps (remember to be conservative here, we can always add more, but not take away). add the tomatoes and turn the heat up to med-high. go a couple minutes longer (the tomatoes should start to break down and lose their shape) and then add your vermouth and cook until the liquid reduces and you have a nice thick tomatoey sauce. check for seasoning and then plate in bowls with a healthy dose of parmesan, and a drizzle of fruity olive oil.

*You sure could roast this yourself, put it in a paper bag for a few minutes and peel off the charred skin, then dice it up and throw it in the dish. You could, and normally I would, I just happened to have a jar on hand that I bought from the Teej, so, you know,,,

recipe addendum...or...that took long enough!

ok, promised I would post the recipe for the masaman, so here it is:

1 lb. meat, cut into 1 inch cubes

1 can coconut milk

2 tbs, oil (used veg)

1/2 cup peeled peanuts

1 onion, diced small

4 garlic cloves, minced

3 tbs masaman curry paste (if, like me, you don't have masaman paste, you can get by by adding some ginger (about a teaspoon grated) when you cook the onions and peppers, and also putting the bigger end (trimmed and cut) of a stalk of lemon grass into the simmering liquid.)

2 jalapenos ( or more to suite your taste, diced small

1/4 c fish sauce

3tbs-1/4 sugar (depending on your taste here, some peeps like a sweeter curry)

1 can (or 14. oz homemade) stock

combine the meat and coconut milk and half of the stock in a medium saucepan, and simmer for 45 minutes to tenderize meat.

in a med skillet, heat up the oil and fry the peanuts until golden brown, then remove. Using that same oil, fry the onions, garlic and peppers (and ginger, if using red curry paste instead of masaman), about 4 minutes, or until soft. place this mixture into a blender (I fished my lemongrass out of the simmering liquid and added it to the blender) and blend until a smooth paste forms. Now you can add the contents of the blender into the pan that the meat is simmering in, also adding your peanuts, curry paste, fish sauce, sugar, and half of the stock. stir to combine and incorporate the paste and heat to boiling and cook for five minutes, or until desired thickness is achieved. serve with jasmine rice. you can also add potatoes to this dish, just put them in the coconut milk/stock with the meat. hope I didn't forget anything here. enjoy!

Masaman, oh man!

A year Ago: Avocado salad w/ balsamic reduction.

A few years back, I received a cookbook from my cousin lyndi about thai food. I hate to admit that up until now, I hadn't used it (sorry lynster). I made this masaman curry recipe from it and it knocked my socks right off. I tweeked it a little bit, using lamb, not beef, substituting fresh for dried jalps, and adding some lemongrass to the coconut milk and then removing it later. one of the best curries I've ever had.

The middle pic is one of my favs, chicken in a pot. Super easy to do, just cut up a whole chicken (preferably free range, I have been using chickens from "plum creek farms") and sear it on both sides (seasoned with salt and peps.), then, in a dutch oven or heavy casserole, add some well seasoned veg (I used potatoes, carrots, turnips, celery, parsnips, mushrooms, and garlic), a couple drizzles of olive oil, a bay leaf or two, some rosemary sprigs, and then top with your chicken pieces ( I like to use the breasts, thighs, and legs, and then keep the back and wings in the freezer in a big ziploc until I get about 3 or 4 chickens' worth and then make stock with that). add about 12 oz. of liquid, preferably, stock, wine, or water (only if you don't have the other stuff) and put it in the oven at 350F for about 2 hours. seriously a great meal.

the last photo is from dinner last night. I didn't want to heat up the house as we've turned the ac off, but had a lot of that leftover chicken and was going to make cajun chicken and rice with it, so I decided to do that but use a cast iron pan and then grill as a heat source. Pretty fun way to cook. I actually enjoyed it a lot. I'm trying to experiment with different cooking sources, you know, just in case I were to buy a house that needed a complete kitchen remodel and was without a conventional heat source for an undisclosed amount of time...hypothetically speaking of course:).

nonfoods: Ran into my old friend "z" yesterday. ended up spending the evening with him and his lady friend. Super fun time. Also chilled with iske squared on saturday, went to the half blood prince, and ate dinner at the peacock. James ordered the vindaloo and I was shocked and amazed that he could eat something so hot. I tried a piece of his chicken and it ripped my head off. He handled it like a boss!

DISH recommends: Thailand the Beautiful Cookbook. A very very good book on thai food. Just getting into this one, but don't expect to be disappointed.

Lodge cast iron skillet:doesn't matter what size. I got mine a few years back and it is one of my most used pans. Totally loves it. try it on the grill, super fun and your house stays cool, plus your neighbors will be taunted with the delicious smells.

Because I couldn't live by bread alone.

one year ago: Sausage Party!

well friendlies, we made it through a year together! A year full of bad puns, a few new ideas, one lonely video (working on more, just wait...), and hopefully some tips that helped you in your own kitchen. I have really appreciated the positive responses from you guys and really enjoy the comments and questions you leave me. Thanks very much for following along and I hope that all of us continue to polish our skills.

When I realized that the one year post was coming up, I wanted to do something special or extravagant, but as I thought that over, I realized that's not really what we're about here. Our goal is to become super savvy with what we have and to make the most we can out of as little as possible. Totally not into wasting stuff.

ok, enough of that nonsense...to foodstuff:

Look at that beautiful banana bread. I wrote about it last week, thought I would share a pic and a recipe. hopefully McTuff's (the artist formerly known as wifeshow) mammy won't mind. Made some white beans (have become too frugal to buy canned, but realize don't care because dried have such better texture) with kale and tomatoes on monday. Had a few ham scraps that I threw in there also and some onions and peppers too. topped with some LeQrotons, olive oil, and fleur de sel. pretty ridiculously easy, pretty ridiculously tasty. Last pic is pizza crusts that I took home from the bakery and topped with cherry tomatoes, yellow squash, and goat cheese. It was a very good combo. I've realized that I prefer really simple pizzas, I think that sometimes the ingredients get lost in each other, and in the summer, when produce is rampant, it's especially nice to appreciate how well a few ingredients can compliment each other. Thanks for a great year peepsters, hopefully you've all tried some of the recipes/tips out. I look forward to all of us becoming better cooks in the next year.

DISH recommends:

LeQuartier pizza crusts. Made by the fearsome foursome (Marth, Dish, P-bear, and JQ). Don't even think about buying some crappy grocery store variety, or we'll come to your house and...well, we'd probably give you some so you would peacefully convert. Sorry we're pacifists, and generous. bread missionaries. pick some up at meridian park location or southridge.

super covert (not really), possible excommunicating, delicious banana bread recipe:

2.5 cups ap flour (they call it all purpose, but I only use it for food...)

1 cup sugar

3.5 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp cinnamon

pinch grated nutmeg

1 egg (farm fresh fool!)

3/4 c milk (at least 2%. whole is better, but seriously, who drinks red-lid?)

1 cup chopped nuts (it's a free for all here, have used almonds, wals, and pecans, all tasty)

3 tbs. veg oil

1 c mashed super ripe bananas (about 3, maybe four tinys)

preheat your oven to 350F. Spray and flour loaf pan. Mix all of your dry and wet ingredients together in two separate bowls. add the wet ingredients to the dry stuff. mix until incorporated, scraping down the sides of bowl as necessary. pour into prepared pan and bake for about an hour (60-65 minutes, until skewer inserted into center comes out almost clean). Let cool for 10 minutes, then take out of loaf pan.

tip: make sure that when you insert your tester into the loaf that you don't confuse banana bits for crumbs, the banana stuff will look like batter. I did this once and ended up totally overbaking it. pieces.

oh yeah, makes great muffins too. Just shorten the time to around 18-20 minutes.

Gus took my pillow, so I am using him

Just thought that I would let you guys know about some wicked sales going on right now. I usually shop the super saver on 48th street (48th and vine). Yesterday I picked up a massive bone-in ribeye for under six bucks (too lazy to walk downstairs and check the price per pound). Also, pork shoulder is on sale for .98 a pound!?! Are you Kidding me? go pick some up, hurry! And they had blueberries for super cheap too. just thought you guys should know. And they did have pickling cucumbers 8 for 2.00, but I bought them all. they are in a bucket of salty, garlicky brine in my basement.

Follow me on Jitter!!! or "In fact, I hate everyone that had a pony!"

I always have these grandiose visions about my perfect day off. I picture myself reading and drinking a great latte, or working on my cookbook, or getting outdoors and doing something adventurous. well, if you are like me, that. never. happens.

I started off the day by thinking I was going to make some banana bread and then go on to doing something else. As I was waiting for that to bake, I thought that I would try a recipe I saw last week for a blueberry cake, so I mixed that up and had it ready to put in when the bread came out. Then, I got to thinking that I would make some pain de campagne, just to see how it would turn out at home in my own oven. Just now pulled the last bread out of the oven. Maybe I was a little too ambitious today. Oh yeah, I am "barreling" 12 pounds of pickles today also. I'm out of vinegar and am going to look for an appropriate receptacle in which to place them.

Ok, in no particular order (I'm positive you'll match them up:) here are some of last week's tasties: Pork chili, loaded baked tates with garden veg and corn, mole-braised short ribs with cornbread, and croque madames with paprika bechamel. The pork chili was made with leftover smoked porkchop from the last post. I can't say enough about using up your leftovies and making different things with them. anytime I can get two completely different meals out of one original meal, I feel pretty good.

I'm really into seeing how far I can stretch things right now. It has kind of become an obsession. I actually made a snack out of some of the cornbread by simmering chicken stock and the mole sauce and then adding crumbled cornbread in there until it broke down and was kind of a rough, polenta type thing. As weird as that sounds, it was pretty tasty. ok, getting side-tracked...do you love baked potatoes? OF COURSE YOU DO! If you don't, you're either crazy, or you haven't had a good one. Right now you are asking yourself if a baked potato can be bad aren't you. well the answer is yes, oh, it can be bad. Tips to follow.

The real sleeper-hit of the menu last week was the mole braise. It was an idea I had that worked out nicely, but next time will reserve some of the sauce for plating (braising the ribs in the sauce made for an extremely fatty end result. not to say that you can't de-fat the sauce, it is kind of annoying and takes more time then I would like it to. Also, made some croque madames for lunch yesterday, adding paprika into the bechamel, which was a really nice addition.

yeah, I know, this was a ridiculously random post...I drank a whole pot of coffee earlier and am trying to fit this in using time I've already run out of. Feeling kind of jittery...Need to seriously prioritize...

DISH recommends:

emile henry loaf pan: Got this a couple of years ago. It's pretty much the best loaf pan ever. just thought you guys would want to know that. Used it to make banana bread.

mole-braising sauce:

6-7 dried de-veined, de-seeded, chiles (such as ancho or new mexico) soaked in boiling water for about 20 minutes

1 tsp cumin seed

1 tsp coriander seed

6 all spice berries

1/2 tsp peppercorns

1 14 0z can beef broth

3 cloves garlic

15 oz. mexican chocolate (such as Ibarra)

1 tsp kosher salt.

Drain the chiles and add to a blender along with the garlic, salt, beef broth, and mexican chocolate. Meanwhile, add whole spices (cumin, coriander, peppercorns) to spice grinder and pulverize thems. Add the ground spices to the blender. Blend for about a minute. now you are ready to braise/sauce something!!! If you are going to use this as a sauce, just put into a pot and simmer for about 20 minutes. If braising, add to a pot/dish and then add meat or veggies and cover with more sauce. low heat is best (stovetop-low) (oven, 300F) cooking times will vary depending on what you make, duh!

Baked tates tips for greatness:

don't turn on your oven...yet...I mean it. ok, here we go. Wash and scrub your potatoes (use russets, I'm serious!). Pierce them all over with pairing knife. Given them a quick rubdown with veg oil and then roll them in kosher salt (don't worry, if it seems like a lot of salt, well, it IS a lot of salt, but we'll scrape that off later.) Place on a baking sheet and then put into your cold oven. Now, turn your oven on to 425 degrees F. Check potatoes after about 1 hour. This will take about 1-1.5 hours depending on size. ok, now, here are my reasons for doing this:

1. I don't like soggy potato skins ( no foil here!)

2. by piercing the potato all over and rolling it in oil/salt, I believe that extra flavor gets down in it's deeps.

3. (my weird unproven theory, but tasty, I assure you) you start boiling potatoes in cold water right? RIGHT? of course you do, friendlies:) So why don't you start baking them that way? (This probably has no effect whatsoever, but I am convinced it does. If nothing else, it will make people think that you are onto something.) I feel that by doing this (just like when boiling tates for mash) you end up with a fluffier, non-gummy, non-starchtastic tate.

So, to summarize here: You end up with a super fluffy, super tasty potato that the salt and oil has drawn excess moisture out of, and the cold start has eliminated the chance that you will end up with a gummy mess. Give it a shot at least once. think of all the foil you'll save, you can even do this with it!

ps. don't forget to rub/scrape off the baked on salt on the potato skin. I guess you could eat it, or If you have a pet pony, they would love to lick it off!

set your watches to FEAST!

hope everyone had an awesome july 4th weekend. Rest assured that the dish's did. We kicked off the weekend by devouring (at least I did, wife had her usual birdy amount:) a mixed grill. Grilled some sausages, potatoes, peppers, onions, corn, squash, broccoli, and beans. and some sourdough. Sounds like a lot huh? it was. I forgot to eat lunch on friday so I was starving by the time I woke up. Yeah that's right, I forgot to eat lunch. Someone who is as obsessed with all things food, forgot to eat. Sad thing is, I do it quite often. I get it from my pops. If my mom doesn't remind him he's hungry, he'd probably waste away:) I think it's a baker thing. We get pretty tired at the bakery. ok REALLY tired. Marth and JOHN and P-bear can testify to that. You would think that the four of us working crazy hours day in and day out would get used to it, but we don't. I know I never will, but I love my job, so I am willing to do it.

ok back to food, back to food. We partied with ISKE-squared on the fourth (actually the whole iske clan) at the new lake house, which let me just say is one of my new favorite places. Wife and I rode the jet-ski (first time, it was like a scoot on the water[fire in the sky, sorry...]) and had a lot of good food with pals. We ended up making some roasted red pepper hummus and a potato salad of sorts (using garden tates, yeah!) that had green beans, walnut vinaigrette, and black sesame seeds. I added tuna to it later, that's the sandwich in the photo. Last night we smoked some pork chops and tended to the garden. Also grilled some sweet potato "chips", which are a new favorite thing. just slice them thin and toss in olive oil, salt and peps, and then layer on a hot grill. they bubble and get crispy. I like to drizzle some olive oil over them at the end, but they would be great with aoli or pesto. If you use regular tates, add some fresh rosemary to the mix.

Oh yeah, headed to an indian feast tonight! Our pals Dipti and Anuj (hope I spelled those correctly) have family in town and wanted to have a feast to send them off in style. Apparently, Dipti's mom is quite the cook...SO...SUPER...STOKED. maybe I'll take photos. pieces.

DISH Recommends:

Thriftiness. I never thought I would re-use ziploc bags and foil, but here I am telling everyone else to also. Yeah, I've become that person. My mom is reading this and smiling. but seriously, there is no reason not to. I try to not think of things as immediately disposable, I'm sure you save a marginal amount of money, but you save a considerable amount of waste. just think about it...

Canned Heat in my Heels tonight...

Lots of exciting things happening this week! I just finished my first real attempt at canning. I'm pretty excited but also a bit nervous that I'll inadvertently botulize myself. I think I'm ok though, I hear the lids popping as we speak (or should I say as I write?). I pickled some beets that were given to me by martha's mom. I'm pretty excited for those. I spiced them up with some apple cider vinegar, cumin, coriander, cloves, and allspice, oh, and also red pepper flakes. We'll see how they turn out. I was going for more of an Indian-style "pickle" here. The other stuff I canned was kind of a hodge-podge of sorts. Dill, garlic, onions, jalps, anaheims, green tomates, baby carrots, and also some radishes. We'll see, we'll see...too early to tell as of yet. The garden is doing fairly well, although something (or someone) has been eating some of our precious tomatoes. We suspect squirrels or rabbits, but there is that shifty neighbor kid... Wife's non-vegetable gardening is going bonkers. She planted some lamb's ear that is starting to dwarf the house, at least we'll have some shade now:)

Food stuff: Made some corn chowder last week. It was really good. I tried my bread trick (scroll down to recipe) here again and it definitely added another layer of creaminess to the soup, beyond the natural creaminess of the corn's "milk".

Had some mid-week salmon with cauliflower puree and a strawberry balsamic reduction. Let's just pause here for a second and talk about rethinking sauces. I don't know about you guys, but I get so tired of claggy, creamy sauces, that are used just for the sake of having a sauce. They are often times laden with butter/ cheese and wicked salty and just not that good. I would really encourage you to try out making some simple reductions to pair with meat or veggies. They bring a really pleasant, clean dimension to the food that you eat, and in the case of the gastrique (vinegar reduction), the vinegar taste leaves the reduction and the natural sugars stand out and really heighten the flavor of what you are eating.

The last dish there is some braised korean ribs with veggies. I haven't really made a lot of braised asian food, but what I have done, I have really enjoyed. This was just some korean beef ribs, carrot, celery, green beans, cilantro, and garlic. for the braising liquid, I used one can beef broth, 1/2 of a bottle of stout (wink wink), some hoisin sauce, and some soy sauce. It was a really nice change from a typical braise and the slow cooking time made the meat fall apart. I pulled it from the ribs and it ended up much like the texture of shank meat, and equally tasty.

Non-foods: I have always been an avid reader, but within the past year, I have turned quite a few pages. It is a really good way for me to wind down after work/working out, and helps me get sleepy. So, naturally, along the way during this last year, I have read some gems and also some let downs. Last week I started reading Memoirs of a Geisha. It is pretty rare that you come across a book that is written like a painting is painted. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail, just know that it is a beautifully written book. finished it this morning.

ok, back to the reductos:

basically, what I do is put an amount of vinegar in a pot (let's say 1/2 cup), and then I add some sugar (about a tbs), or juice (1/4 cup-ish). turn the burner on med-high, and then let it reduce (by about half) until it has thickened slightly. It will thicken more as it cools. You should be able to coat the back of a spoon with it and run your finger across the spoon. the line you make should just hold.

some combinations I like are:

Balsamic/pomegranate (great for Fish/chicken)

Apple cider vinegar/honey (awesome on pork, smoked meats)

Red wine/beef broth (your new favorite "steak sauce")

ale/orange juice/sugar/fresh garlic (oh man is this good on on grilled chicken)

DISH recommends:

cuisinart saucier. ok, seriously? SERIOUSLY! this is on mega-sale right now. If you don't have a saucier, then pick one up. the sloped sides are great for reducing in a flash, and the pour spout is totally rad-tastic. 15 clams. sheesh!